Monday, July 09, 2007
Leaving on a Jet Plane
The Associated Press is reporting that Clay Aiken was detained on an airplane due to a disturbance. He was flying to Tulsa from Houston after rocking a sold out show there Friday night.
I guess the disturbance was some woman who has a sandal phobia. According to an eyewitness who gave a statement to the FBI (and Clay himself at the Tulsa pre-concert Meet and Greet later that day,) Clay fell asleep with one leg crossed so that his foot was touching the arm rest of the chair near him. Now despite perceptions that Clay is short, he's actually 6'1” with very long legs. (Not to mention, very big feet....) See Exhibit 1.
The witness reported that the woman smacked his foot and told him to move it but he didn't wake up. So she continued to swat at him and smack him until he woke up to her assault. Clay confirmed this story at the Tulsa Meet and Greet and during the Tulsa concert Saturday night, he joked that the woman “hit my toe out of my shoe.” You can see it here in this video from the Tulsa concert. It's a 9 minute video with other funny stuff so watch it all the way through but the first reference is right at the beginning.
The woman was led away to be questioned by authorities when the plane landed but the AP reports no charges were filed. I wonder what her issue is? Is she just really an angry person? Did she have a bad day? Did she think Clay's foot had been in Kelly Ripa's mouth?
Of course, because the AP story fails to mention that Clay was asleep and the woman assaulted him, all of the news outlets this morning are carrying this story like it was a fight between the two of them. Journalism at its best (worst?) once again.
Now, if I had the great fortune of sitting next to Clay Aiken on an airplane and his foot was touching my armrest, I would wait until he deplaned and carve out the piece of the seat pleather with my teeth. Ebay Gold. And probably a cracked tooth.
I would probably also get arrested but that would be because I was either massaging his foot or sucking his toes. I mean they must hurt because he used to bite his toenails. I wouldn't want him to get an infection or anything.
I also think the FBI may have missed the boat. The report should have included the standard Clay sighting information required of anyone spotting Clay. What did his hair look like, how was he dressed? Does he snore? Drool? His roommates from American Idol claim he sings in his sleep, does he take requests?
Clay joked about the incident during the Tulsa concert. He has a week off before the tour continues for six weeks and I hope he won't have to appear in Federal Court as the victim of the Podiatric Assault. Will they submit his shoe as evidence? Is there an evidence bag big enough to hold it? Can I have it when they are done?
Clay has a tremendous sense of humor and even though getting woken up while being assaulted by someone who doesn't want an autograph has to be disconcerting, he was able to laugh about it tonight. And just like this incredibly funny bit from the Houston concert, he's found a way to make this very strange incident funny too.
Posted by Corabeth at 5:01 PM