Monday, July 23, 2007

Baby, You Can Drive My Car

Yeah, it's a song by the Beatles but that's probably another blog about great influences in music in the last decades. Nan usually writes those kinds of historical musical retrospectives, probably because she's got more history than I do.

(Checks email for ConCLAYve pink slip)

I was thinking about cars. Probably because my daughter is bugging us for her first car. The marketing people at the big car companies must sit there with a thesaurus to try and come up with yet another jazzy description to get you to buy the car when everyone knows that as long as the stereo plays Clay in the front and back, everything else is just superfluous. I mean can it get me to the Newark concert on time? OK, then I don't care if it is bright yellow and looks like a Tonka car and the horn sounds like Britney Spears without studio correction software.

So I started looking through the automaker websites and it seems everything reminded me of Clay Aiken. First, the Toyota site which talked about cinema-quality surround sound. I can attest to that, in my Toyota Clay's music makes a vibration in my…..chest. Then they note, "with amenities like these, you can surely sense it."

Then there's the claims of powerful performance which I'm sure they meant on the concert stage and not in the privacy of his own home or anything. After all, on the tour of his house, he wouldn't show us the bedroom because of underwear on the floor. I guess those performances were done in haste.

Finally, it seems my Toyota has a comprehensive safety system. I need to write to them and tell them that Jerome did NOT come in the trunk as promised.

Then there are the hybrids. This quote is perfect… "When a car becomes more, it surprises you at every turn." We heard those same quotes from a reviewer from Columbus, OH

Aiken’s strongest moment was his performance of Lover All Alone, for which he wrote the lyrics. In spite of jarring intonation problems from his guitarist, he loosened his grip on the polished, practiced stage manner and truly connected with his own soul.

And for those few minutes, the squealing fans, the strong-willed women, the devoted husbands and the rest of the audience fell absolutely silent in appreciation.

as well as a man seeing Clay for the first time since American Idol who said to a fan
Man, this is a great show isn't it?' "What guy is an entertainer! I always thought he had the best voice. My wife made me go to the American Idol show when it was here, but I haven't seen him since. This guy is great!!

Clay first bought Volvos after he became a professional singer. He probably related to the fact that the Volvos have a "unique front structure."

They also offer a great rear seat entertainment system for backseat listening pleasure. He must use that from time to time because as he reminds us nightly...

But last week at a tour Meet and Greet, he told fans he likes Audis now too. I found this interesting but once I saw the Audi marketing people at work, I knew why. It seems that "Audi represents Vorsprung".

Now, I've never found a tractor sexy and I lived near farms years ago. But apparently, I will find his tractor sexy since John Deere tells us that we don't have to worry about stalling and that their LoadMatch can adjust speed and force to maximize available power in all applications. Phew? Do they take American Express?

Must be something to do with that unique front structure in the Volvo. I know my volvo's never been the same and I don't even drive one.

Clay's on tour right now, check out his fanclub site for the schedule through August 19th.

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