Measure of a Man

We laid my dad to rest today.  In the middle of a snowstorm that was after a postponement from last week's big snowstorm-after dealing with two funeral homes to get him from Florida to Massachusetts.  The man who hated funerals had a 12 day service!  But he was with us in spirit as his Patriots won another Super Bowl and I'm pretty sure he whispered into Pete Carroll's ear last night to pass the ball with 30 seconds to go.

I wrote this eulogy the night he died but because the snowstorm forced us to cancel the final memorial at the funeral home that usually precedes the Mass at church-I didn't get to read it. 

I don’t even know where to begin when describing my dad to you.  He was strength personified yet bawled like a baby at weddings, births and 4^th quarter interceptions.   He was serious and dedicated in his work and totally goofy at home.  He shot a hole in one four times after he took up golf.  He cheated at Monopoly.  Dad coached every sport we played between the ages of 8-15 and won championships in three sports for both boys and girls.  More than 35 years later, former teammates that I run into will tell me they have fond memories of him as coach.  

Like my grandmother before him, he was a practical joker.    There are hilarious stories of our childhood that probably would get him in trouble with child services today!

We started to think of some of the best ones to describe him:

The first one that comes to mind is the Anti-Valentine.  Every year on Valentine’s Day we would be called to the table for dinner and on our plates would be these homemade Valentines from SalMark Cards, which must have been a black ops division of Hallmark.  They were always made on his company's graph paper and hand drawn.  And they included everything that deserved snarking about you that year.  For instance, the year my sister was 13 with teenage acne and braces was especially brutal.  And yet we loved them and looked forward to them every year because it meant he was really in tune with our lives.  I mentioned to him a few Christmases ago that I wished that I had saved them and then the next Valentine’s Day, my anti-valentine came in the mail.  Funny, I just found it last Sunday when going through my desk.

Our kids worshipped him. 

One thing I will never forgive him for was teaching my then second grade daughter how to spell Negotiate.  When he left for Florida later that summer, he reminded that impressionable 8 year old girl that everything is negotiable.  Thanks Dad, I’m still paying for that bit of advice 15 years later.

When my brother was old enough to go out drinking with his friends, Dad used to torture him when he came home on the weekends a little on the intoxicated side.  One night he put a life size cutout of Rambo complete with gun and vest of bullets right on the inside of his bedroom door.   My brother screamed like a girl.  Another night, Dad hid under his bed and when bro stumbled in and collapsed on the bed, Dad reached his arm up from under the bed to grab him-the manifestation of every kid’s nightmare.   It’s a wonder my brother never ended up in therapy!

This past summer when Dad was in the hospital, he wasn’t eating much because he said the food was awful.  My sister started giving him a hard time about eating so he said he would eat if she could be his official taste-tester.  She had to close her eyes while he fed her what was brought on his tray and if she could correctly identify what the food was supposed to be, he would agree to eat it.  After that, she agreed that he didn’t have to eat the thing they had labeled mashed potatoes.

Dad loved to make up names for Mom.  One day he just started calling her “ Ichiro.   He told her that was Japanese for little lotus flower.  A year or so later they were at Dina’s house  watching a game on TV where the Red Sox were playing Seattle and Ichiro Suzuki (a Mariner at the time) came up to bat and Mom was all happy and explained that was her nickname from Dad and it meant little lotus flower. Everybody laughed and Dad confessed that he really started calling her that because when she cleaned, she used to pull the front of her hair up in a vertical ponytail and it reminded him of a Sumo wrestler.  He absolutely loved telling that story.  They bought a dog after that and named him Ichiro.

It wasn’t all fun and games though, so I started to make a list of things I learned from my Dad

#1 Nothing is more important than Family and when you are Italian that means all your family.  We were very blessed to have a very connected extended family for so long thanks to the 8 crazy brothers and sisters that our grandparents raised. It gives me comfort to know that all ten of them are together again.  

#2. Practice, practice, practice.  I remember going next door to Grandma’s backyard where he would hit groundballs to me for what seems like hours.  We would finally stop after one of us was exhausted or Gram stuck her head out the window and yelled at us in broken English about hitting her house.

#3. It’s OK to round  to the nearest dollar when recording expenses in your checkbook and that Mom would understand that the  entry marked Stop and Pee was actually this week’s groceries from Stop and Shop.  I think  he just wanted to make her laugh to forget that the checkbook never balanced.

#4 Little White Lies are OK, like when he took us out to dinner to celebrate when Mom had given birth to my sister and when Mom called from the hospital to see how we were, dad was cool as a cucumber and said “fine” when in reality my brother and I were throwing up in the sink from food poisoning from the dive he took us to.  

#5 Sports teaches you about life, whether you are a spectator or a player.  There actually IS crying in baseball as he was the first person I called after the Red Sox finally broke the curse in 2004 and we cried tears of joy together.  #5B, If mom is downstairs in the basement doing laundry and the team made a good play, do not let her upstairs under any circumstances to avoid jinxing anything.  

#6 When you turn 16-find a job.  I actually think my 16^th birthday greeting consisted of Happy Birthday-get a job.   But between school, sports, band and that job-boy did I learn time management and responsibility.

#7 You never know if you are an alcoholic until you take your first drink.  Now obviously with the aforementioned story, my brother never had that talk.  I think it was probably just his way of scaring me away from doing what every teenager does but it really worked because to this day, I don’t drink.   I really wish he had somehow related that to avoiding chocolate instead.

#8 Girls can be anything they want to be.  This may not seem like a big deal to those of you under 35 but back in the 1970’s it was unusual and very inspirational to me.  One of my favorite Dad stories was during my freshman year in college.  It was finals time and some clueless person in the registrar department thought it was OK to schedule three of my finals within one 24 hour block.  I was tired and stressed so he came up to the school to take me to lunch.   As we sat there, he pointed over to another table which was obviously a business lunch and said “see that, that’s going to be you someday and this will all be worth it.”  And that finals week lunch became a tradition for those four years and taught me how to deal with pressure just like sports did.  By the way, that restaurant was also a dive and it went out of business soon after.

My mother always says that she raised three very different kids.  I think those of you who  know us will agree.  Over the years people have often jokingly labeled us since we are so very different from each other.   My sister is the funny and kind one, I'm the "smart" one (although my sister tried to cross that out and write  the cheap one) and my brother is the good-looking, charming, debonair, athletic one with great hair.  But Dad told me recently that my greatest strength was my confidence.   And he seemed to worry most about me when my confidence waivered.  That in itself often helped me to find it again.  I wonder if he ever knew that.

They say you become what you learned from home.  And in thinking about my dad, I think about an old 90’s power ballad. (And no, I’m not going to sing it. Dad used to joke that Mom and I never changed notes, we just got louder).   It ended with the lines

You gave me strength, cuz you believed

I’m everything I am, because  you loved me.

And in the end, those two lines are all you  really need to know to understand who dad was.

When we tried to think of a song to play at the end of the wake, we didn't want anything maudlin.  Dad would have hated that.  So, we chose a celebration of his life instead.

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Any Dream Will Do...But I Like This One

The historic Ogunquit Playhouse in Maine is running a production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat this month. Clay Aiken is playing Joseph with Keala Settle as the narrator. I’m thrilled that Clay is spending part of his summer in New England and that I can make the drive there next week.

For the first half of this year, I found I was getting frustrated with limited public communication (especially since he’s very funny on Twitter) and not attending important industry events like the Tony Awards, etc. It was really because I was hoping to see some direction, some plan, something other than what felt like professional ambivalence hidden within the roar of silence coming from Raleigh.

Perhaps, he was doing some soul searching about what it is he wanted in this difficult industry, or if he still wanted an entertainment career at all. (I still think we’ll lose him someday to politics, the banner on this page is from his appearance on Face the Nation.) Maybe, as some have mused, being cast in the lead in The Drowsy Chaperone at North Carolina Theater alongside Tony Award winning Beth Leavel, sparked something in him because it was more than an ensemble of first quality players like when he was in Spamalot. He had to carry Drowsy in a role that was 99.9% acting, not singing. From what I've seen of it, his part was the glue that held the whole thing together. And not only did he excel in it, maybe he felt the joy again. Maybe he felt the thrum that fans feel when we see him perform.

I still want to watch him perform pop music on stage again, someday. His voice is well suited to good pop. But doing theater is what surprises people with the breadth of his talent. Doing theater is where he gets some of the best promotion. Doing theater lets him sing (in most cases) but also requires him to stretch. He does his best work when he stretches out of his comfort zone, in my opinion. In a recent interview, he said this role did just that.

And I like that he's dedicated to whatever decision he appears to have made to do something like this. A challenging part, a lead in a musical, nine shows a week with a short time to rehearse with people he's never met before. And maybe it's not only his yellow brick road back to Broadway but his side door back to recording the pop music that was made for his voice and that created the most success and the largest breadth of fans.

But for now, I’ll spend a long weekend on the coast of Maine watching him perform in a part that was made for his voice, made for his stage presence and made for his love of working with a “family”. My friends and I will travel from various parts of the country to watch new people experience that too. That’s always a perk when Clay performs in a new region or with a new project. Patrons may walk in with a mixed bag of anticipation, reluctance and uncertainty but they almost always walk out a fan.

I'm a planner, probably to a fault. Heck, planning is in my title at work so it's how I'm wired. I know that for Clay's career one plus one will never equal two and even though I struggle to see the plan sometimes, I’ve mostly come to accept it. For Clay’s career, one plus one often seems to equal the square root of a mango. But what I like right now is that he seems to be taking a great big bite of it.

Get tickets here at Ogunquit Playhouse. Joseph will be running through August 25th.

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Come Sail Away

Three years ago,I wrote a blog called Landslide chronicling the conflicting emotions of seeing my daughter graduate and prepare to go off to college. It was bittersweet to write; a kaleidoscope of emotions ranging from pride and anticipation to one of pending separation where the phrase “coming home” becomes temporary. She’s handled herself well and has worked very hard to graduate this December, thereby finishing her Public Relations degree one semester early.

But there was never a feeling of complete finality that there is now as her brother (and our youngest) begins that same journey. I loved spending more time with him after she went off to school, even though in typical teenage boy fashion he preferred to retreat to his mancave in our bonus room; a digital and music superdome filled with every possible video game console, Blu-Ray for streaming episodes of Breaking Bad, an electronic keyboard, a beginner’s drum set (both instruments that he taught himself), double chocolate muffins and a never ending gallon of “Arnie Palm”.

He’ll make that same walk to Pomp and Circumstance tonight, and I’ll look for him in the sea of white and green. He bears a passable (and much taller) resemblance to Daniel Radcliffe right down to the scar on his forehead. His scar splits his left eyebrow in two-the result of a nasty fall when he was not quite 3 years old.

He’s very smart in a casual yet confident way. I’ve often said that I learn more from him when watching a documentary than I do from the narrator. Sometimes his freakish memory for facts and his love of debate can be annoying, like when he wants specific and defend-able reasons for why he should clean his room. He also expects others to be as smart as he. His sister laughed at me when I called him an intellectual snob, mentioning something about apples and trees. She should talk. She has my identical skill sets and her father’s exact irreverent personality and stubborn streak.

He’s as funny as he is smart and he really “gets” people. When he first started focusing on a possible political science major, he made it clear that he wanted to learn more than just policy. He wanted to know what makes people tick or what makes countries tick. So, he will enter his freshman year at his new college as an International Relations major. It requires a semester abroad so this separation will seem more permanent to me. It also requires a minor in a language. I should probably study with Rosetta Stone once he makes his choice. He’s thinking about Italian. È la tua stanza è pulita?

A job shadow at the FBI has steered him in the direction of a possible FBI/CIA career. The funny thing is that I’ve told him since he was little that he should be a “spy”. He used to love to sneak from room to room as quietly as possible, trying to see how long he could remain undiscovered. (Of course, that backfired on him when he overheard us discussing where to hide the Easter candy.) I think I gave birth to Jason Bourne.

He’s become a very different person in many ways as he struggles for his adult independence. He was voted Most Changed in the high school yearbook which can be attributed to the gain of six inches in height and the loss of 20 pounds of “baby fat”. His round face with braces has been replaced by a long jawline and deep thinking eyes. (He still has the longest lashes I’ve ever seen.) He went from hating music to being a connoisseur of classic rock and an avid Beatles fan. His most wonderful memory of a recent trip to England was crossing Abbey Road with three friends. He was George.

I’m sailing away. Set an open course for the virgin sea. Because I’ve got to be free. Free to face the life that’s ahead of me.

His college of choice is a classic New England private college that is right on the water about two hours from here. I knew he would end up there after the first tour as his demeanor was so different from the 7-8 other schools we visited. It was like he was “home”. He’s never wanted to be in the water but rather on the water. Maybe that’s because he is on the cusp of Aquarius and Pisces. I think back a few years ago as we took a passenger boat from a beach back to a cruise ship. Almost everyone was sitting down and he was at the front looking out over the water, with his face tilted toward the sun. I remember thinking at that moment that it would not be the last time that I saw that picture

On board I’m the captain, so climb aboard. We’ll search for tomorrow on every shore.

As he rounds this corner into early adulthood, he wants to be called by his real name and not his nickname. This manchild is looking to sail away in more ways than one. I just hope he cleans his room first.

Last year, I found a poem by Kahlil Gibran called “On Children”. It really touched me and I actually bought a print and keep a framed copy in my office. I’d like to offer it to all the parents out there, especially to my dear friend Peggy and those whose sons and daughters are part of the high school or college Class of 2012.

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Happy Graduation Day, my baby boy. Fly far and high. And remember what your heroes wrote…

In the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

In my life, I love you more.

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A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

I’m not one of those fans who thought there was anything super fishy about the AI2 final results of Clay vs Ruben other than simply not enough phone lines to allow all the votes to get through. It was the same number of lines as the year before when there were no issues. The following year, they had three phone lines per finalist and the total number of votes was still less than Season 2. It was just one of those things.

But I can’t help and think about the results of this season’s Celebrity Apprentice and wonder about so many things. I can't wonder this much in 140 characters or less...

*I wonder why this picture shows that the vast majority of the non finalists are staring down in silent protest or anger when Arsenio Hall’s name was announced.

*I wonder why five have been bold enough to immediately come forward and say they were shocked and Clay was robbed.

*I wonder why another stated on a radio broadcast a few weeks ago that Clay should win unless the fix was in. Why even bring something like that up?

*I wonder why they never showed the post task boardroom where, according to contestant Adam Carolla's podcast of 5/21, Trump polled the contestants about who should win and every person said Clay. Even those on Arsenio's team.

*I wonder if the multibillion dollar deal reported by the LA Times that Magic Johnson signed for a new network with the parent company of NBC (same network as Apprentice) may have nudged the producers of this show in a certain direction. Not in a Quiz Show way mind you but more in a “radio payola is illegal” wink wink sort of way. And I’m still waiting for a journalist with balls to ask about it.

*I wonder the same as a few other bloggers/recappers as to why Lisa Lampanelli can claim she’s a good friend of Clay’s but can’t distinguish between a nightclub filled with her fans and a nationally televised broadcast in terms of what is appropriate material and what simply lacks class. I wonder why super project manager Arsenio allowed it at a charity event. (Not to mention there were children in the audience.) I doubt her disrespectful vulgarity was worth $10,000 to Clay’s family sitting there watching the broadcast last night.

*I wonder why NBC saw fit to air Lisa’s tasteless gay joke at Clay’s expense given that they had plenty of other footage. Poor GLSEN. You got some great exposure on this show for your efforts in anti gay bullying with the “what not to do” provided by celebrities .

*I wonder just how Arsenio's Hollywood Rolodex contains real friends when you figure he raised no money in the guidebook challenge and subtracting donations from his teammates (including $50,000 from Lampanelli and cash from the Andretti family) he raised less than $100,000 for the final task. 20 years in the business, eh? Clay's grassroots campaign raised over $300,000 in 24 hours.

*I wonder if Trump thinks nobody owns a calculator when he claims Arsenio was “hired” because he raised the most money when in fact, if you subtract the amount he won for being “hired”, not only did Clay raise more but so did Paul and Dee.

*I wonder if Trump realized how much he screwed Patricia Velasquez and her very important charity (Wayuu Taya Foundation), not just that one time but probably for a long time because she tapped into all her donors only to see her money go elsewhere. Patricia should have cried, Trump seems to hand over $10,000 for crocodile tears. Such a dignified, classy woman.

*I wonder if Trump realizes how bad his spin is when he says Arsenio won by 2 tasks to 1, conveniently leaving out the final task that Clay clearly won. Then it would be 2-1 for both of them and just like a final exam, the final task should have more weight. Not to mention Lisa won 2 tasks before the final and that didn’t seem to matter.

*I wonder what Eric, Ivanka and Don, Jr. would have said if asked for their true opinion outside of parental or corporate influence. I know marketing well enough to recognize true spin. What their dad is doing isn’t even good spin.

*I wonder if Clay’s truly impressive appearances on MSNBC, CNN and Face the Nation were too impressive.

*I wonder if Clay knew he had no chance. Part of me wishes he did know and just worked very hard because he knows no other way but to give his all.

*I wonder if Arsenio knows deep down that he coasted to a win he didn’t earn. I wonder if he looks at the picture at the top of this blog and knows that many others who played with him know it too. He seems so desperate for a comeback that he literally sold his soul to the devil in some rather gag worthy television moments.

*I wonder if it is too petty to say that I think Clay is easily funnier than Arsenio.

Look, I know this is just a reality show but there’s more at stake here than just a mirror ball trophy or an oppressive record deal. Patricia can’t finish a school for her project and $250,000 would help several hundred of Clay’s children. $250,000 is a rounding error for what Magic Johnson Foundation has earned in 20 years. But when it came to the finals, I think the charities were not even considered by those making the decision.

I love marketing. I’ve spent the last 15+ years of my career in marketing or business strategy roles. Every year I volunteer to mentor second year MBA students in their final marketing practicum projects. I guess you could say they are my apprentices. Ideally, I should love this show but I don’t like it when I feel duped or see bad marketing rewarded for the sake of good television (or something else entirely) in such a transparent way.

And I don’t like it when a person who claims to be a great businessman makes a decision based on bad business performance and then tries to excuse it in a way that insults my intelligence. If you only need third grade math to prove the spin wrong, that means the issue you’re spinning is too weak to stand on its own merit. It’s interesting that the last episode was called Transparency on the NBC site. Because I can see right through you, Trump.

Finally, I wonder if the members of Vy Higgensen’s Gospel for Teens choir (great job, guys) realized they were in the presence of vocal greatness last night during the performance of Lean on Me. If you watch them look at Clay for the last minute of this video, I think they did.

But before you watch, please donate to the National Inclusion Project at inclusionproject.org and look for information on the site describing their upcoming annual gala scheduled for October 20th in Washington, DC. I've never left a gala without crying at least once.




Photography by Douglas Gorenstein/NBC



Clay Aiken, Arsenio Hall, Magic Johnson,Celebrity Apprentice, Dee Snider, Face the Nation, American Idol, NBC, Ivanka Trump, Eric Trump,Patricia Valasquez,Vy Higgensen,Aubrey O'Day, Wayuu Taya,Donald Trump,National Inclusion Project

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Destiny's Child 4-More Than Meets the Eye

Have you ever looked at a colleague in a meeting or a somewhat familiar face at a party and formed an opinion despite having never met them? This opinion probably developed over time and included all kinds of things about their personality, their intelligence, their skills, maybe even their character. All of this is based only on casual encounters, comments from others and your own filters. Some of this may include certain prejudices that you didn't know you had based on half truths passed along as fact. And yet, when you finally get to meet this person and see them for who they really are, you could be stunned that they are the opposite of what you had heard was "gospel". Sort of how pretty women in business have to try harder. Or how gay pop singers who came into the public eye through a TV competition have to overcome all kinds of preconceived notions about..., well just about everything.

It's been an interesting few months to be a fan of Clay Aiken, culminating this week in watching him go toe-to-toe with some professional political pundits on many major networks including CNN, MSNBC and just this morning on CBS' Face the Nation. He stood up against the nonsense spewed by professional bigot Tony Perkins on Face The Nation and some guy on Piers Morgan show the other night that resembled a modern day Archie Bunker in both appearance and position. Clay was articulate, prepared and knowledgeable. THIS was the face of equality, an American citizen just asking for the same rights as those sharing the screen with him. The tweets that followed after @FacetheNation was aired offered a sense of both pride and amusement. Pre-show eye rolls in the twitterverse turned to praise and admiration, often from the same skeptics. The long time fans sat back with a satisfied smile that comes from knowing the truth about someone.

So, how did we get here? It all kind of started when the cast for this season of Celebrity Apprentice was announced at the beginning of the year. The show brought two things to the forefront. The first was Clay finally taking to his Twitter and showing his funny side. The second was the predictable posturing from colleagues, friends and bloggers about how Clay was going to be eaten alive in the first few weeks. What they failed to realize is that not only is this man smart, savvy and skilled but he's also very determined and when he is focused on something important-there is no stopping him.

Many celebrities go on the show for the exposure to help their careers or to support a charity. Clay went on this show to support his charity, as in the one he started and originally bore his name. Entertaining is what Clay does. The National Inclusion Project is who Clay is. I think there are some bloggers and even current contestants who still don't understand that. As he is poised to potentially become the Celebrity Apprentice, the rest of us observed the changes in perception with the knowledge that we knew all along what this man is capable of. If I used emoticons, I would have found one that said I told you so.

As the weeks have gone by, it's been fascinating to watch opinions change. The same sites that mocked him are predicting him to be a finalist or even win. (They are in the Final 3 as I type this.) He's a natural on Twitter (just like I knew he would be) but he's used it in a very strategic way. He's making connections with people like Brooke Baldwin on CNN which ultimately put him on her show and probably led to the other political appearances this week. But what has been really fascinating is watching him take on the idiots. These people who hide behind the quasi anonymity of a keyboard and don't think twice about showing 30,000 people just how ignorant and bigoted they are as they hurl insults and gay slams his way. The amusing part is watching Clay swat these online morons as easily as a clean-up hitter creams a hanging curveball. (Sorry for the sports reference, Clay.) The man really should try a side business as a heckler consultant to stand up comedians. Fifty2Thirty Comebacks, LLC? When asked why bother with them, he commented that he wants to expose their stupidity.

Musically, I didn't think he could surprise me. He always had the best male voice out there and one of the best overall voices. Even when I didn't like the genre he chose for an album, I could never deny the talent. I always thought he had more in him, he teases us with it every now and then. When he compares himself to Perry Como, I want to stand on my chair and yell "Wrong Perry!" Clay, to me, has always possessed the range of Steve Perry, former frontman to Journey. Steve sang ballads, pop and pop/rock. Clay shows all of these sides in concert. But that knowledge still didn't prepare me for the Clay I heard on the new album, Dee Does Broadway. Dee Snider of Twisted Sister fame just released an album of Broadway songs done in metal style and he invited Clay to duet on Luck Be a Lady from Guys and Dolls. The song is the best reviewed track on the album with article after article citing Clay's vocals. His performance has been compared to the lead singers of Black Sabbath and Judas Priest. That's right folks, Ozzie Osbourne and Rob Halford. He reached for something more and exceeded all expectations. Paging Mark Platt! If you are still looking to remake the film of Jesus Christ Superstar, look no further than Clay Aiken.

Nan said today that this is a rather strange convergence of things but that it feels right. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Clay's biggest successes will never be linear and obvious but rather circular and perhaps only obvious after the fact. Maybe a PBS special of crooning standards was too linear and too obvious. Sometimes obvious may not be interesting enough to a public with the attention span of a 3 year old. Today, he is poised to possibly win a very tough, business based reality show run by a man who couldn't be farther away politically than Clay's positions. Yet, this show caused him to use his voice via Twitter, which opened up new contacts, which likely resulted in his invited political appearance on CNN. And the first domino fell.

As I sit here staring at my computer screen with my biologically unnatural blue eyes staring back at me (are you listening Tony Perkins), I realized that 2 plus 2 will never equal 4 when it comes to Clay's career. There are just too many facets to him and too many perceptions to change. But perceptions can change in the right forums and he's finding those forums. Actually, they seem to be finding him now. I plan on watching him in his more traditional place on the concert stage when he tours this fall and winter. I know that I will enjoy that rare combination of vocal talent and comedic improv that many saw during Apprentice. His concerts provide music for the soul and laughter for the smile. But even if Clay's career more closely resembles an equation of 2 plus 2 equals the square root of a mango, success will taste that much sweeter.

(For those just discovering or re-discovering this talented man, I'd like to suggest the album On My Way Here.)


Clay Aiken, CNN, Brooke Baldwin,Celebrity Apprentice, Dee Snider, Face the Nation, American Idol, NBC, Piers Morgan, gay marriage,Ozzie Osbourne,Judas Priest,Mark Platt, Bob Schieffer,Donald Trump

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The Savannah Seven

Sometimes life throws you a curve and you have to be resourceful to hit it back up the middle. And sometimes strangers cross your path that make you smile and see all that is good in the human race.

A few weeks ago, I lost the planner that I use for both work and major home events. This planner has important work meetings,notes and some non routine home events and commitments. I was NOT happy about losing it.

I received a call about 5 days later from a woman who said her husband had found it on the road about a half mile from my work. I must have driven off with it on my roof. She gave me her address and said I could pick it up after work. I drove to their home, which was in a rundown neighborhood full of duplex homes that had seen better days. I knocked on the screen door and saw a rather cluttered home at first but the smiles of the occupants quickly took over my view. I told them my name and they knew why I was there. A petite woman with full sleeve tattoos came out and handed me the planner. She said they knew it must have been important and that the owner was probably looking for it. (I had put my name and cell phone number in it.) I couldn’t thank her enough and walked back to my car with a smile on my face and a spring in my step that two people who couldn’t be more different from me had just gone out of their way to help a stranger. I’m going to drop off some toys for the children.

This past weekend, two friends and I began what was a girls’ weekend in Savannah. We’d planned it earlier in the year using vacation days that we typically save for concert trips. We’d even planned it so that we could leave from three different home airports, connect in Charlotte and take the same flight to Savannah.

On Thursday morning, I headed to Hartford airport ready for a fun four days. These two friends came into my life through our mutual interest in Clay Aiken but they have become dear friends and we get together even during non concert times. It’s hard with homes in Massachusetts, Alabama and New Orleans but we’ve managed to always find a way to meet in the middle.

The bad news started when USAir gate agents announced that instead of beginning our boarding, we were going to be looking at a long delay because apparently our aircraft hadn’t left Charlotte yet to take us back there from Hartford. (We won’t get into how incompetent you can be to not realize that the plane you are supposed to be preparing for boarding your passengers in ten minutes was 300 miles away.) The delay kept getting longer and longer as I texted with Peggy, who was on getting ready to take off. Thank goodness for my tech savvy mother who was at home receiving text messages from me and trying to find information on later flights to Savannah. (Here is when I seriously started considering buying an iPad or Motorola Xoom tablet as trying to do this on a smartphone when I'm aggravated just wasn't working.)

Miraculously, we finally began to board and it looked like I was going to be able to make it. A last minute text from Peggy, now in Charlotte announced that not only was our flight to Savannah canceled but all flights to Savannah have been canceled. I frantically texted to her and TechMom to find a one way car rental.

The rest of the afternoon was a wonderful experience that resulted from what could have been disastrous. Peggy and our other friend, Cissy managed to find four other women (all strangers to us and each other) who were in the same boat. I guess we all made a quick mental assessment and ruled out serial killers and decided to go for it. We rented a large Grand Caravan, picked a driver and a navigator (me, as I had my GPS) and boarded the airport rental bus for Alamo while beginning introductions. We crammed seven suitcases into the van, programmed Savannah airport into the GPS and headed out.

What followed were four hours , 250 miles and seven women getting to know each other; sharing interesting stories, personal stories and fascinating stories all while cheering for important highway signs. In many ways, we were very different but found a lot of intersections in our lives from colleges to mothers facing terminal illness. I wonder why God/fate/karma brought us together and safely brought us to our destination. We even debated whether we would have made the trip if it had been six women and one man who wanted to take the trip with us. That debate took a funny turn when Chelle told the story of attending college in Florida and meeting Ted Bundy! (We wanted to rub her head for good luck.)

So, any other cars driving along the highway toward Savannah that day would have seen these seven women:

Marilyn-A nurse who decided to pursue her passion and is now in cooking school training to be a pastry chef (and on her way to visit her daughter in college in Savannah)

Cori-A business person working at a famous company (with free samples in her bag) but whose crime stories of her CSI forensic police detective husband were a matter of greater interest

Cathy-An obstetrician who also devotes a lot of time to her sorority at the national level. She voted for Ruben but we won’t hold that against her. In fact, we’ll send her some videos from the Timeless Tour.

Cissy-A small business owner and one time college English professor

Erin-A former ballerina who chose to teach dance after an injury and who works for a recruiting company

Chelle-The almost Ted Bundy victim who now rides in biking marathons all over the country (including Alaska)

Peggy-A single mom who works in schools assessing young children for behavioral and learning disabilities so that they can get the help they need at an early age

One of the girls asked us how we had met. It seems silly to say we met on a Clay Aiken message board in 2003, but we did. And he’s taught us about inclusion of children with disabilities, the plight of the night walkers in Uganda, how the simple acoustic version of a song by a great voice can soothe what ails you and how a common interest in a singer can not only bring you three wonderful friends but indirectly introduce to you, even for a few hours, four other extraordinary people that shined a little light into what had been a dismal day.

We grabbed a guy at the rental drop off to take a quick snap with an iphone in bad light!

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The Natural

Last night I attended Clay Aiken's concert at the Hard Rock Live in Orlando. It was the second show of his tour supporting the Tried and True Album. I had a second row seat so I knew I would enjoy the show but I honestly didn't know how much because my preference is for his pop performances.



The Hard Rock is not raked and they jammed those seats so close together, I felt like a model on Tyra's show where they bend their shoulders forward in that weird pose . It was tight but oh so close to the stage, which was very high and did not afford a good look at his shoes until he sat on the stage.



The music began with the curtain down and he started to sing softly “Where do I begin”. He sang a few lines like that and then the curtain opened. It sounded like he stumbled just a bit, maybe he was mouthing “why is the curtain still down!”



I can’t describe that song. The original Andy Williams version is kind of overly lush. He started this one out softly, the way he did Home the other night. But it built up into a vocal tour de force that seemed to lift me out of my seat like I was weightless. It was an amazing way to open the show. It was almost as if he threw down the gauntlet to all the rest of the pop crap out there. If Ben Cohn did that arrangement, I salute him because it blew me away. I almost grabbed my phone to simply type Holy.Shit. to Nan. I tweeted that it was Steve Perry-esque. I'll add a youtube of it when the video is ready.



We went through training at work about how to hold a great meeting. One thing is “hook them from the start.” Well, damn you Clay, you hooked me from the start. I was so hooked I would have even welcomed It’s Impossible without complaint. (With that said, I was thrilled he tossed it and substituted some great stuff.)



The band was really far over to the sides-Ben and his mini Radio Shack with new guitar prodigy Adam Fallen on one side, and my favorite drummer man Felix Pollard and a new bassist, Del Atkins (?) on the other. There was a giant white screen as a backdrop, presumably used for videos and other special effects for other shows. I wish it had been another velvet curtain. That would have been perfect.



He did Kind of Hush and Can't Take My Eyes off of You with a little groove to his body. I don’t think he realizes that his body moves naturally like that, the man has dance in his limbs if he just lets go.



He talked to the audience quite a bit, talked to a woman who had her share of bloody Marys, they kept count as the concert went on. He talked about Aguilera's Super Bowl and how “sometimes it just happens”. He mentioned that he had a really hard time at the Miami concert with a bad echo and that tonight’s sound was good so he already felt like we were really together in this.



He was wearing a lighter gray sweater with white shirt and what looked like a white/gray tie. Jeans and shoes that sometimes looked gray to me and sometimes more of a mixture of tan/gray. Very stylish. The hair looked just fine in profile but had a ton of gel in the front and was straight up, almost at perfect attention. Profiles were all cheekbones but it's really atrocious straight on. Knowing Clay, I think he’s doing it to toy with us. Just comb it over to the side Clay. It will look better and will be less work.



He left off It’s Impossible which is my least favorite song so I was happy. I can’t remember if he did Moon River or Breaking Up is Hard to do then or later but he really does an exquisite job on Breaking Up. I loved it in Chicago and I loved it tonight.



You know how Clay often sings to a camera when someone is taking a picture. Well the people on either side of me were taking still pictures so it felt like he sang the entire first verse of Moon River to me.



The medley was clever, although some of it started to all sound the same to me. Invisible is really quite fun in that style, especially with our “secret handshake” aka the tug. Quiana Parler was in great voice as usual and I’m so glad she went back to the shorter hair that she has now versus that long weave she had over the summer. This haircut frames her beautiful face. I also have always wondered if she has perfect pitch. They remind me of a doubles tennis team; always knowing where and what the other one is doing or going to do.



I think the can’t remember the name of fan favorite album On My Way Here is part of the tour schtick. Tonight he called it A Thousand Different Ways, which was two albums ago! (Come to think of it, I think that’s when he talked about Aguilera).



He does a very interesting section of the show where he shows that you can autotune anything and make it sound like music and that's how some people get on the radio today. (Look for a more editorial blog on that topic later.) He said that every night, Ben will not tell him which lyrics they will give him. They did Lady Gaga's Bad Romance and it was very funny to hear Clay say Rah Rah, etc. Before they did that, he asked who people listen to and someone said Bieber. He said Quiana listens to him in her dressing room. Quiana, girl. I thought you had more taste than that. Another person said Kei$ha and he made her stand up. He said something about having a dollar sign in her name (I was impressed he knew). I have some comments on Kei$ha too but that's definitely for my editorial blog.



He talked to the audience a bit more and then came over by us and sat down on the stage. He sang Sammy's What Kind of Fool am I and Misty right there. An older couple in the second row about 6 seats down from me were filming and he asked the man about it. The man said Misty was their song. It was so nice that it worked out that way. A woman in the front row was filming him and he commented about it and assured her that she wouldn’t get thrown out. He then started talking again and said “I feel like I should talk to the camera” and proceeded to do it like a TV interview for a few seconds. He asked her what her screen name was and she wouldn’t tell him. He said “you guys don’t tell your screen names?” and my friend Cissy said “not to you”.



He said that they were going to put in Who's Sorry Now but realized that it was a lot of slow songs in a row and that was the slowest. He asked for song genres and the first one was Disco. Quiana sang most of it while Clay did the Travolta move. Someone said country but he said it was a country song already. When someone said rock and roll, he thought for a minute and whispered an idea to Quiana. They were both talking and nodding and then he grabbed that mic and did a Quiet Riot version of WSN. He rocked that mic back and forth, he was freaking awesome. The crowd went mental. He said later that it was tough on his voice.







He sang Mack the Knife and mentioned that he sang the same verse four times last night. He did pretty good tonight, only messing up one small place. It’s a hard song to sing because the words aren’t really “normal” in some cases. The end was great.



Quiana did her second solo and then he came out to do Crying. He looked at her with such tenderness and at the end, he said how great she was and he didn’t know what he would do without her. She had left the stage by then and came back carrying her (kick ass)shoes. He mentioned that she’d done 8 tours with him because she didn’t do one Christmas. Then he introduced the band again and he and Felix discussed how many tours they were together and Clay said he hoped that Felix would be back with them again. Each time he talked about one he mentioned that he hoped they would be back with them again. Couple that with mentioning that he had toured with Ruben Studdard about four times and it is things that make you go hmmmm.



He talked about Unchained Melody and he mentioned Dave Novik three times, twice just as Dave as if the audience was supposed to know who that was. He said when Ben sent the new arrangement of UM, he didn’t know what it would sound like since he can’t read music. So the first time he heard it was when he went to London to have the symphony record it. He said he called Ben from London because he almost cried at how good it was.



When he started UM, that first verse where he sings “are you, still mine? And he usually just sings it as a pretty ordinary semi long note. Well tonight, he started it soft and then got louder and louder with it. Not changing the note itself like in the airplane note, but in a way that showed just absolute amazing control.



He left the stage and we all stood and clapped until they raised the curtain again. He was sitting in an office type chair and sang IML without any mentions of teachers. Then he told a story about Rita in the M&G who had won last summer but couldn’t make it so they got her in today. She was with her granddaughter who wanted a picture of herself with Clay since Rita had replaced all the family pictures in the house. She asked him for Solitaire and he said he didn’t tell her that it was already planned anyway. He sang it and he played with the melody a little, singing lower in some cases, minor key all in all making it even more interesting.



The crowd jumped to its feet again and the lights came up. And I exhaled for the first time in almost two hours.



The venue was perfect for this type of show. The set list was great between the songs and the banter and I liked this set list 1000X more than Miami. I really wonder what kind of album he could have had if he took away some of the older songs and replaced them with Where Do I Begin, Both Sides Now, In My Life, Breaking Up and added some up tempo.



And I want him to write and have Ben do the arrangements.



Vocally, he surpassed himself. It’s funny, but no matter how much clack you watch in between tours, it simply doesn’t compare to seeing him perform live and even then, it’s still almost shocking at how well he can sing. He hit some low notes tonight that vibrated within me.



I’m a big baseball fan. Robert Redford made a baseball movie years ago called The Natural in which his character, Roy Hobbs is asked how he wants to be remembered. He said he would like to be walking by someone on the street years from now and hear “there goes Roy Hobbs, the best there ever was.”



Tonight, I saw Clay Aiken…The Best That Ever Was





Clay Aiken, Orlando, Ben Cohn, Quiana Parler, Felix Pollard, Felix Pollard, American Idol, Connie Francis, Steve Perry, Concert,

Quiet Riot, Robert Redford, The Natural, Hard Rock, Justin Bieber, Christina Aguilear, Kei$sha, Gaga, Bad Romance, Tyra Banks, Ruben Studdard



Thanks to dc4clay for the photo and Scarlett for the crystal clear video.

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Broadway Backwards: Oh What A Night!

I wanted to put my thoughts together about last night's Broadway Backwards and Clay Aiken's participation. It's a little hard because they are more feelings than thoughts and also kind of jumbled.

I love the theater. As a child - ever since I was 6 years old, my parents would take me to see a musical. My first Broadway show was Mr. Wonderful with Sammy Davis Jr. I went to Performing Arts HS and lived in Manhattan since I was 14. I used to second-act shows, get student tickets, do standing room. Whatever I could. I think I saw Half a Sixpence with Tommy Steele 9 times and Roar of the Greasepaint, Smell of the Crowd with Anthony Newley at least a half dozen. I know, compared to Claymates and Spamalot - I was a slacker. But still. . . College and beyond - not just musicals. I loved dramas. Half-priced tickets were cheap back in the 60s and 70s. I saw Zero Mostel in Ulysses in Nightown, sitting in the balcony for $17. I remember the first time I ever saw John Malkovich and Joan Allen in Burn This - I was overwhelmed by their brilliance. Went four times and took everyone I could find. The original Equus with Anthony Hopkins and Peter Firth (first time I had ever witnessed Anthony Hopkins) took my breath away. Agnes of God with Elizabeth Allen, Amanda Plummer and Geraldine Page - spellbinding. Long way of saying that I am bewitched by the theater, find Broadway (and Off Broadway and regional and every form of theater) magical.

So I was excited to be going to Broadway Backwards - whether Clay was a part of it or not. I've lost so many dear friends to AIDS and have heard so many stories from my gay and lesbian friends of their journey, I've been supporting organizations like God's Love We Deliver and Broadway Cares for years. So this was a special evening for us to be in the audience.  From the first number with Alan Cummings singing "Don't Tell Mama" from Cabaret - I was so happy to be a part of this incredible event.

Each number was strong and each performer was charismatic and exciting. When Hinton Battle came out to sing Will I ever Tell You? from Music Man . . . oh my goodness I was ecstatic. That man is amazing.

Debra Monk followed him to sing an emotionally captivating On The Street Where You Live and exited to thunderous applause.

At this point, I turned to MrNan and said "I'm nervous for Clay". It's not that I don't think Clay has a gorgeous voice and tons of charisma. It's just that the performers on that stage were so full of confidence and owned the stage. Their voices were incredibly strong. They moved with such assurance. And most of all, their ability to tell a story with their voice and body was intense.

Dan Butler and Kirsten Wyatt (also the hosts) performed I'll Never Be Jealous Again from Pajama Game - a song I used to sing (out of tune always) with my father -- and were sheer joy.

Then Lillias White (from Fela) tore it up with a Ray Charles arrangement of Some Enchanted Evening from South Pacific and was followed by Brian Charles Rooney's impassioned version of One Halloween/But Alive from Applause to close the first act with a bravura performance.

By this point I was more than nervous. I was worried. These people were such pros. So much talent on that stage. Everything about this show was first-rate. The orchestra was wonderful. The staging of the numbers were great. The dance ensemble was perfect. It was everything I love about live performance. The audience knew these performers. They had seen them in shows. There was so much respect. Every time they brought a standing microphone out onto the stage - I grabbed MrNan's hand thinking . . . "this is Clay".

The second act started and I fell in love with Bobby Steggert who (along with Robin De Jesus) sang The Trolly Song from Meet Me In St. Louis. I just read he's going to star in the 2012 Broadway show of Disney's Dumbo. This young man is a-mazing.

So next they bring out the standing mic - hand grab - but it's Len Cariou. I have seen that man in countless shows - the first time in Applause with Lauren Bacall and most recently in last season's Damages on tv. He is the epitome of a professional to me. He blew me away with Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered from Pal Joey. What a story teller. Touching, funny, poignent.

The mic stayed there and I almost didn't want it to be Clay because I didn't want him to have to follow the applause Len Cariou got. Someone I was not familiar with at all walked out, Tituss Burgess and he sang a song I was not familiar with called Stars and the Moon from a show I'm not familiar with -- Songs For a New World. He originated the role of Sebastian in Little Mermaid and he's got a high tenor voice. He was mesmerizing. The song started and I wasn't sure where it was going and he had such amazing voice control and then there were punchlines and funny stuff and his timing was brilliant and the end hits you with an emotional pop. Wow.

They clear the mic away for Bebe Neuwirth to kill on All I Care About Is Love from Chicago - and at this point I'm thinking . . . "maybe Clay is sick and he can't perform".

Tony Yazbeck blows the audience away with The Music and the Mirror from Chorus Line and Brooks Ashmanskas and Denis O'Hare are totally adorable doing Marry The Man Today from Guys and Dolls and it's getting late.  But now they bring the mic out again and I grab MrNan's hand.

Previously, for every performer - Dan and Kirsten give a short introduction with what shows they did or are doing on Broadway and what Tonys they have been nominated for or won.  But now they start talking about a young gay woman who committed suicide and the plight of LGBT youth and said the next song is dedicated to her. Then simply, Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Mr. Clay Aiken. And BAM.   He sold it. His voice has such nuance. It's not a straight "Broadway" voice. There's a bit of "pop" to it. But he had power and range and beautiful texture to it. I remember thinking when they announced his name - there was nice applause but not the kind of name recognition and excitement you got when Len Cariou or Bebe Neuwirth were announced. Or Debra Monk or Karen Oliva (from West Side Story). This was a Broadway crowd. They weren't excited that it was Clay. They were waiting.

My fandom has changed over the last year or so. I adore Clay but I don't listen to him as often as I used to. I'm happy when his songs come up on my iPod but I don't usually seek them out. I don't download clack very much. But when I see him live and he delivers like he did last night - I remember how he touches my very soul. He reached that audience. He sang for that young woman and all all the youth who have been bullied or felt alone and wanted to know there was a safe place called Home. He made a believer of those people sitting in the audience and when he was done they showed him their love and appreciation - not just for his talent - but for his story as well. And I felt it all over again.



No video does justice to live performances.  Support the arts.

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Please support  Broadway Cares and thank for them for wonderful work they do.

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Thank you toni7babe for the photo and gingerscarlett for the video.

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Clay Aiken, Broadway Backwards, Equity Cares, Alan Cummings, Hinton Battle, Debra Monk, Dan Butler, Kirsten Wyatt, Lillias White, Brian Charles Rooney, Bobby Steggert, Len Cariou, Tituss Burgess, Bebe Neuwirth, Tony Yazbeck, Brooke Ashmanskas, Denis O'Hare, Gods Love We Deliver

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Skate Where The Puck Is Going To Be

Wayne Gretzky once said that he doesn’t skate where the puck is, but rather where it is going to be. He anticipated the next move, took the risk and that is what made him stand out from his peers.

Singing the Star Spangled Banner is a risk in and of itself as most singers who have attempted it will tell you. It’s a densely written poem that doesn’t lend itself to easy memorization of words or cadence and its got a few killer notes sprinkled amongst the 1.5 octaves of the song. The Urban Dictionary calls it the “sorting hat” of songs as it separates the great vocalists from the flash in the pan pop fad of the moment. Many contemporary singers change it up because they simply can’t sing it as written. Singing the anthem at a sporting event is even tougher because it is often done a cappella. Of course if you’re in an indoor venue, you have the lovely challenge of a 2-4 second audio delay so your voice reverberates back in your face. You’re singing one verse yet hearing another. I’ve had to give a presentation with that problem, it’s massively confusing and all I had to do was read the PowerPoint slides, not get my vocal chords to stretch in ways that probably make them angry. So a tip of my hat to all who sing it and sing it well.

But those are the known risks. And those should be all there is, especially when you’re singing in your hometown. The hometown where you grew up and where you returned despite hitting the big time and it probably behooves your career to live in LA and NY instead. The hometown where you intend to educate your child. The hometown where your support local arts and local children's charities. Yet, in the case of the NHL All-Star game, that very scenario actually created risks. Risks of being booed, risks of people being so full of themselves who think that standing there in a protest as tiny as their…..ears…and not applauding somehow makes anyone look bad but themselves.

So Clay Aiken skated where the puck was going to be. He walked out, tall and proud and sang that ridiculously difficult song-the one ironically (or perhaps fittingly) about persevering while under fire. And he nailed it like Zdeno Chara nails a slapshot. And the vast majority of the fans in the audience applauded; for the song, for the singer and for their gladiators on the ice. And then he walked out with his head held high to prepare for a charitable event on Broadway next Monday and his tour which begins on February 10th. The same tour where VIP packages are being auctioned off at every venue and he’ll give up part of his personal time to raise money for his children’s charity.

I’m no Pollyanna. He’ll drive me crazy at times when he digs in his heels against things that are good for him. I was as relieved that he didn’t have unflattering mile high spikes as I was that he sang so well and had just the right amount of stubble. But I know a good man when I see one. And I saw one yesterday standing on the RBC ice.

On a secondary note, I need to follow hockey again. Most of the guys I remembered when I followed the Bruins didn’t look as good as those guys yesterday. Besides, I need something to watch until baseball season starts, right?






Clay Aiken, NHL, All Star,Carolina Hurricanes, National Anthem, RBC Center, American Idol, NBC, Zdeno Chara, Wayne Gretzky

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