Friday, June 09, 2006

Bats in my Belfry.....


I've read over my past blogs and it seems like I am a sappy, sentimental fool. That is SO not me! So, here's a funny story (I hope it translates).....

One night, many moons ago I was staying the night at a friend's apartment. Friend's roommate retired for the night and we decided to sit around and play cards. All of a sudden something is flying around the place. Friend's roommate has parakeets, so right away we think the damn bird got loose. However, the thing is black and the parakeets are not.

THERE'S A FREAKIN BAT IN THE APARTMENT!!!!

We both run into the bedroom and slam the door. Of course, roommate (RM) wakes up and we tell the news. RM runs into bedroom with us. The only thing I can recall about bats is that they will nest in your hair. I was having none of that. so I grabbed a hoodie, plus a baseball cap (as did friends -- we looked ridiculous) and ventured out into the living room.

Sure enough there was the bat -- hanging upside down from the air conditioner just like friggin Grandpa Munster! That was all we needed to see and ran back into the bedroom.

Then a brilliant idea comes to me. I grab the phone and call the police. They were not amused and not very helpful, especially when I insisted that I had seen on COPS that someone had a bat in the house and the police came to help. Evidently, that episode of COPS did not take place in New York.

We venture out into the living room again and bat is now on the floor walking along on its elbows. Bitch is hairy and gross!! Back into the bedroom!

Friend gets an idea to call one of those 24 hour exterminators. They were actually pretty helpful. They suggest swatting it to the ground with a broom and throwing a blanket over it. So we huddle like the NY Giants and devise a plan. RM gets the broom, friend gets the blanket and I open the door to the apartment so we can run out with it. We head out to the living room like we are going to hunt big game.

Ready for the big ending???? Are you sure???

We take our positions, RM approaches with broom, I open the door to the apartment and suddenly......




The bat flies out of the apartment on it own accord and I slam the door shut so hard that the whole building shook!

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6 comments:

The ConCLAYve-Nan said...

We used to have a country house and my mother would stay up all summer and my dad come up for weekends. One year, my mother was alone in the house and had a dream about Dracula. She woke up to find a bat flying overhead in the bedroom. She slept naked so she grabbed the blanket off the bed, ran out of the room and closed the door. She waited in the living room until daylight - then ran naked and wrapped in a blanket to a neighbor's house - who called Animal Control and then got the bat out of the house. I thought it was fascinating that she actually dreamt of Dracula before waking -- and that she slept naked!

celebhith said...

Funny story! I've never had an encounter with bats (and never hope to!). . . thanks for linking my blog!

CipherBIF said...

Bwah! Good Times. In my old house, I had been up late reading until about 3 am when I decided to go to bed and was walking around flipping off the lights. After I switched off the last light I noticed that I had the fish tank light on and the tank needed cleaning. So I am standing there in my underwear scrubbing the sides of the tank in the dark when I feel something go swooping by my head. Let me tell you, I probably woke Dracula up with the screams and first ran into the kitchen and slid the pocket door shut. Realized I had left the dog to the mercy of the bat, opened door, got the dog, slammed door shut. I then turned around and remembered that there was an open doorway to dining room which was also open to the rest of the house. Curse the open house plan so I grabbed the cordless and dashed outside, in my underwear, and did I tell you it was the beginning of January. I first called my Dad who informed me that he was not driving 3 hours to help me get a bat out of the house. I then tried the fire department because if they get cats out of trees certainly they would help get a bat out of a house. Uhmmm, no. They gave me one of those 24 hour exterminator guys who came out and got rid of the bat for me, charging me several hundred dollars. Luckily my house keys were just inside the front door so i could reach inside, grab them and run around the outside of the house in my underwear to the back door where the dryer is located and pull out some pants and a sweater while I waited for the guy to come evict my disgusting friend. Needless to say that was the first of three visits by a bat. I used to think it was the same bat who came once a year in Jan to see how I was doing. Anyway there is a reason that was my OLD house as I now live somewhere that is bat free, the only way to be.

Pink Armchair said...

Funny story! My aunt actually worked, one summer during college many years ago, as a bat handler for the local zoo. She actually got to love the little critters. Every time she says that, I cringe.

randymacgirl said...

We would upon occasion, have a bird or bat get down our chimney in my parents' house. One summer, we returned from dinner at my grandmother's to a bat hanging from the light fixture in our living room. My parents sequestered my sister and I in our bedrooms upstairs, pulled out the encyclopedia, called my grandmother, and proceeded to try every bat removal remedy they could come up with. I remember aluminum foil balls being thrown at the bat, in conjunction with a broom. If I recall correctly, they finally managed to either corner it or knock it down. Whether dead or just unconscious, my dad swept it out the door and off the porch into the night. Good times for all.

~ YSRN ~ said...

OMG, I giggled through this whole story. I get bats a couple times a year in my bedroom. Hanging from the overhead light fixture. They're cute when they're up there, but if one moves, I'm G.O.N.E.! Eek!

I've called neighbors in the middle of the night, run around frantically in my skivvies, even turned the blower on one of them! Didn't work. If I open the back door, turn off all the lights except the back porch light, and hide... eventually it leaves. Or, I get another one. Oy.

I'm pretty much that way over a spider on the ceiling over the bed too. :HATE: